Do you hunger for a life of purpose and meaning?
Do you long to connect in a way that is more real and meaningful?
Are you exhausted from self-criticism and feeling like your not enough?
Do you feel like you have lost sight of what this thing called “life” is all about?
Your life happens from the inside out. Everything important to you – your relationships, achievements and dreams for the future – all come through the doorway of who you are…or who you think you are. Therefore: The quality of your life can’t go any higher than the quality of your relationship with yourself.
So let’s step into your inner world and clear up some misperceptions. Somewhere along the line, you fell for the illusion there’s something wrong with you. As you look around, you see the proof. You know better but still make the wrong choice. You know what to do but can’t get yourself to do it.
At your core, you’re already everything you seek…and more. This part of you is vibrant and alive with laughter, centered in quiet wisdom…radiating compassion…overflowing with joy. Open and relaxed the Universe breathes through you. This is who you are – the part you long to connect with – Your True Nature…your Soul Essence.
You’re a beautiful reflection of the Universe – holding, in potential, all that the Universe is…infinitely capable, powerful and wise. This part of you is not of the earth – it doesn’t die and it can never be harmed in any way. It remains healthy and whole…compassionate and connected to the greater Universe. You don’t have to do anything. Your soul – who you really are – is already perfect.
Then there’s your ego: this part of you is self-centered, arrogant and not always nice – even if it doesn’t say it out loud. It’s insecure, self-conscious and easily flattered or crushed by criticism. Ego aims to please and impress, pretending to be fine and fudging the truth. It eats stuff that’s not good for you, doesn’t like to exercise and spends too much money. It gets angry and says things you regret. And just as you think you’re healthier and more centered, your ego takes something personally and flies off the handle. And every bit of it…is perfect.
What if your ego, this seemingly messed up part of you, exists for a reason? I mean, a better reason than to overcome it. What if this thing you dislike about yourself – that you see as negative and try to hide…as broken and try to fix – what if it’s what makes the whole thing work?
Your soul, for all its glory, has a few limitations – things it can’t do – but are vital to the reason you’re here. Your soul wants to learn a specific life lesson…but it already knows what it is. It’s like having a scientist be their own research subject – it doesn’t work. Plus, to truly, deeply learn, you have to dive in and live the lesson – to be immersed in the gritty details. But this is a physical experience and the soul is spiritually-based.
You also need the contrast of duality. If you only experience light, you don’t notice it. But find yourself in the dark and you have a lot deeper understanding and appreciation for light. But you have to temporarily lose sight of the light to experience the darkness – something the soul can’t do.
Your soul needs a partner who can do what it can’t – and the ego is perfect. Blocked from awareness of the larger spiritual purpose and rooted in physical form, your ego reacts to everything as intensely real and personal – which is exactly what your soul needs to have a genuine experience. And with your ego as the experiencer, your soul can be the observer, learning alongside without getting lost in the experience.
Consider what it’s like to be ego. From here, the physical world is the only reality so to die is to not exist – which feels terrifying. Feelings are intense and everything’s personal. Things happen without warning or reason. And feeling vulnerable, you have one motivation: to feel safe and loved but avoid pain and rejection.
You quickly discover which qualities are rewarded and which ones get you in trouble. Being loving is good…being angry is bad. Giving to others is good, wanting something for yourself is not. Work hard, yes…have fun, no.
Over time, you learn to portray the “good” qualities but lock away the parts of yourself deemed unacceptable. At first, it works pretty well…not perfectly, but the best you know to do given your situation. People start to like and admire you for being such a loving, good and successful person. As long as you keep the unacceptable parts hidden, you’re golden.
You don’t dare let others see these hidden parts of yourself for fear of being criticized, rejected or exposed as a fake. But deep inside you feel the growing emptiness and quiet desperation of not being who you really are.
And because it feels too risky to speak your truth, ask for what you need or say things that might cause conflict, your life tips increasingly out of balance. Unresolved conflicts threaten your relationships, stuffed anger comes out sideways and your needs are left unfulfilled. The longer it goes, the more out of balance and painful it gets.
But ego’s not done. It continues to drive you into the extremes of what you do to feel safe. If you stay safe by shutting off emotions and going into your head, ego pushes you further into your head. If you take care of others or work long hours to avoid your own stuff, ego pushes you to over-extend yourself even more. It pushes you further and further out of balance, exhausting every option and bit of energy you have…until you cry “uncle” and stop, making it painfully clear: You can’t do this anymore. It doesn’t work.
It’s never going to work. Deep inside, you thought you found a way to stay safe. But playing it safe isn’t safe. Not at the cost of going against who you are or squelching valuable parts of yourself.
It’s time to express the parts of yourself you’ve been avoiding. If you’ve been in your head, it’s time to reveal the heart. If you typically over-extend yourself, it’s time to meet your needs too.
But deep down, you knew that already. You were just hoping for another option. That’s the gift of ego. It’ll continue to remind you, repeating the same pattern over and over, until the pain is greater than your resistance and you step out…to begin the grand journey to the truth of who you really are.
…And if you listen closely you can hear the Universe cheering.
This is the great voyage of your soul. The path you were born to take. And ego performed its role impeccably – driving you further and further away from the soul truth of who you are, until the pain of it drives you back in this direction – to connect with your soul essence.
Soul and ego now enter a new level of partnership. Feeling appreciated for its role, ego can relax its defenses and they team up for the next leg of the journey.
Together, they make a formidable pair. Ego exposes and soul heals. Ego explores the extremes, soul holds the center. Ego drives, soul inspires. While ego allows you to navigate and enjoy the richness of the physical world, soul takes you beyond physical confines to experience the extraordinary. And ego exposes the unfulfilling, so you know it’s only through the soul that you’ll find fulfillment.
Then ego is ready for its new role – to bring old fears and misconceptions to the surface so you can heal them. Each time ego pops up, it’s offering this gift, saying “Here it is. Would you like to heal this? How ‘bout this one?” If you squelch ego back down, you miss the gift. Instead you can thank ego for pointing it out, so you can do something about it. Then you find out what the ego needs to feel safe so it can relax and come back to center.
Your role is to create an environment that supports the rising maturity of your ego. To provide reassurance that it’s safe, to remind this part of you of the greater truth, to come alongside with patience and compassion… and gently guide toward the soul.
No longer pressured to protect and fight for what it needs, ego becomes still and begins to hear your soul calling on the other side. Letting down the walls, it opens more and more – allowing its soul partner to come into view.
Through the soul, ego receives what it needs most – awareness of its connection beyond the physical plane, to something infinite, loving and true. After ego explores and exposes what’s not true, it now recognizes the soul partner as its genuine source of truth. As this awareness expands, ego lets go and surrenders to the universal wisdom of the soul – it’s edges dissolving until it melds and becomes one with your Soul.
Ultimately, you’re on a journey from Ego to Soul. Blocked from awareness of its own inner source, Ego turns outward for what it needs – seeking safety, value and love through possessions, achievements, relationships… even through good works and helping others. And it’s willing to squelch parts of yourself to do it.
But in time, it’s too painful. These things never truly fulfill you. And now, disconnected further and further from the truth of who you are, you feel lost, empty and alone. Yet, it’s all part of the journey. After exhausting all other possibilities – exposing what’s not fulfilling, you’re ready to turn inward in the direction of your soul truth.
When you connect to the awareness of your Soul, you can relax, open the door and step outside the walls to fresh, open space…where you can freely express the truth of who you are, connect deeply with others and enjoy the abundance all around you.
All you have to do…is say Yes.